Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Darkbit*
*But Were Afraid to Ask
How long does it take to get a reply from customer service?
It depends on the type of request and how busy we are saving the world (or at least your PCs). We usually reply within 2 hours — unless there’s a ticket tsunami or the server has gone on vacation. For urgent matters, we suit up and prioritize like heroes! 😎
When will I receive my order?
As soon as our postal crew defeats the dragon guarding the warehouse, your order is on the way! Typically 2–5 business days — unless there’s a zombie apocalypse.
Why haven’t I received a reply yet?
We’re probably battling the dark side of tech. Don’t worry, we’re here — just that our inbox sees more traffic than a highway at rush hour. We’ll reply ASAP, possibly before your beard grows.
Can I return a product if I change my mind?
Of course — as long as it’s in the same condition as when you received it (i.e. not like it fell off a cliff). Just don’t use it as a salad spinner, please.
Do you offer discounts?
Absolutely! Especially if you catch the magical discount elf hiding somewhere in our pages. Otherwise, stay tuned for offers — or ask Santa.
Can I make a special/custom order?
If it’s something reasonable (not a nuclear reactor or a hologram), we can talk. Send us the details — we promise not to pass it to the aliens.
How can I pay?
We accept everything except gold bars and cheese pies (although fresh spanakopita is tempting). Cards, PayPal, bank transfer — the usual. No camels or Bitcoins from 2009.
My product arrived damaged. What now?
First, we’re sorry someone decided to use your package as a soccer ball. Contact us with photos and we’ll send a replacement — no patched-up models, promise.
Where is Darkbit located?
Somewhere between the Matrix and Hogwarts, with a view of the Greek landscape. Okay, fine — we’re in Greece. But spiritually, deep in the nerdverse.
What is your warranty policy?
Our warranty covers almost everything — unless you used the product for bungee jumping. Send us what you need, and as long as it didn’t explode, we’ll help.
Do you have a physical store?
We’re so online even the internet’s ghosts are jealous. But yes — our physical store is at Kononos 149, 16231, Vyronas, Athens.
Can I cancel my order?
If it hasn’t left for courier adventures, absolutely. Otherwise, we’ll wait until it returns from its journey.
Why are the shipping costs what they are?
Sadly, we haven’t trained dragons to deliver orders yet. If you know a cheaper way, tell us — we’ll build a monument in your name.
How do I know your products are authentic?
If we sold knock-offs, we’d at least deserve a forgery trophy. What you see is what you get — no surprises (unless you request a gift).
Can you suggest a gift?
Of course — we’re gift gurus! Tell us if it’s for a gamer, nerd, or someone who loves cool stuff, and we’ll find something they’ll cry over (from joy or laughter).
Who decides your discounts?
A secret circle of wise elders rolling dice over pizza. Actually, it’s careful planning… or just our mood.
Why is this product out of stock?
Probably because it’s so popular everyone grabbed it before you. Or our supplier misplaced it on Mars. Stay tuned — it’ll be back.
Can you make something custom for me?
Unless it breaks the laws of physics, why not? Send us your idea — we’ll see if we can make it real (no alien tech required).
What’s your data policy?
Your data is safer than Superman’s glasses. We don’t share, sell, or expose it — we guard it like the secret recipe for perfect pizza.
